20/02/2008 12:52am

Its my Mom's birthday...I miss my family...

I can't recall being this down and broken to date...Tried to look inside but all I get is just this complex blurring darkness and it feels so heavy...

I hate this....

It's like I'm all alone in the dark...I am though, right now, literally....I really hate this...

I'm being overly sensitive these past few days, and those smiles on me, I feel like a hypocrite...

I need an outlet. I need to start trusting people again...But, this fear, it's looming over me still...I despise this...

How long has this been...I think around three days already...

Fuck this, fuck it all...

I feel the tears, but fuck you, I won't let you out...

Because I still don't know why...

I think I do, but I'm just afraid to say it out...

I hate being alone...Fuck all those who contributed to what made *it* happen...Made me what I am now; hating being all alone...Fuck it...

You bitch....Fuck you...
Fuck it all...

Dear God, help me...

I think I'll be okay..I know I will...I can't drag this...

I need to sleep, but I fucking can't...

I'm feeling remorse gnawing me because I said to much of fuck...Fuck this...I'm screwed...I need to get my form back...

01:01am.....Cascada is on...

................

01:15.......

01:21...Hot chocolate...

I know I'm fucking strong and you know it too, whatever type of influential satanic fuck you are...You can't make me drag this...I'll kill you even if you are inside me...

God is All-Merciful...

I have friends...And I'll see them tomorrow...I'll be happy again..So fuck you...

I'll drink my chocolate, and sleep, and this will be over...

P/S
No questions on this...